How can we honour a life?

Hello Mortals,

Welcome back to your small reprieve of today. I first would like to take a moment to thank each of you for visiting my little blog here. This is just one of my little passion projects and I am very grateful for your attendance.

Today I have been thinking about how can one honour a life of someone?

Today is the birthday of one of my deceased patients. We met numerous times and talked about all sorts of things about this life and the next. Bonding over coffees that I would bring them, that were entirely too sweet. In our conversations we talked about what types of things they would like to do that are meaningful to them, one of those things that came up was “I would like to eat a thick skinned orange and purple grapes in the sunshine…”, they were no longer able to eat foods of such substance at the time. I promised them at the time I would upon their birthday I would eat a thick skinned orange ( much to my own chagrin) and some purple grapes in the sunshine and celebrate with them wherever they are now. Their response to this was ” I would like that so much”.

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Today we celebrate your life

I have had other patients that drank certain types of wine, even snuck them into the residence and hid them in their pillows. On the day of their death, I went out and bought the wine and drank it in their honour. Whenever I see their wine when I go to the LCBO I very fondly think of the laughter we shared and tears.

I have had patients that were musicians, I often think of them and their beautiful gifts that they so willingly shared with us. When I think of certain songs by them I take pause and celebrate them in those moments, not their death but the life that they so graciously shared with me as their nurse.

Every single time I bite into a juicy peach or smell an earthy tomato I think of my Granny and our mutual love for these fruits. I think of her giving me shit for pillaging her gardens and eating fruit and veggies off the vine. Every time I miss and long for my conversations with my Granny who is now so lost within her body due to her dementia that she is rendered non verbal, I curl up with the purple quilt she gave me for my 13th birthday. It is like a hug from her. It is comforting like nothing else in this world.

This leads me to think about how do we honour a life? How do we remember people and their idiosyncrasies? How do you honour those you have lost? Keeping in mind not all who are lost are dead. This could be losses like divorce, broken friendships, dementia, acquired brain injuries, relocations… the list goes on and on but loss is loss.

These are some of the things that I think of and do to help me to heal through the grieving process. These are also ways that I choose celebrate and honour the lives that have touched mine, I am curious what are some of yours?

Until next time…xo.

Be kind.